Northern Summer


I think sometimes we all need a vacation.  From the hustle and bustle of our lives, from our own over-analyzing minds – an escapism where we are sometimes only able to find solace in the familiar – our childhood home.

Lately I’ve had some time to reflect on my life, what I do, who I am, and numerous other soul-searching endeavors that could easily leave ones head spinning.  Something that we should all undoubtedly do at certain points to evaluate our lives.

I remember a friend telling me once that once you hit your thirties, you will stop reading books like the Alchemist and just face reality that life isn’t all inspiration and aspiration.  I hope that I never stop dreaming, and envisioning bigger and better goals for myself and those that I choose to surround myself with. Thirty or not, I refuse to believe this.

I think that facing yourself, what you’re good at, and what you’re not good at (let’s call these the ‘works in progress’) are some of the hardest things that you can do.  It’s easy to sit there and say I’m really good at ‘x’ and ignore that perhaps you have done things to yourself and other people that are the result of those things that you’re not so good at.  Perhaps insecurity is at the forefront of some of these things, like it is with me.  Heck, I didn’t even really want to start this blog for years because I didn’t want to look silly, or have people thinking ‘what gives her the right to write about these things? What does she know?”

I struggle with the idea that ‘it doesn’t really matter what other people think’, because in some ways it does.  There are people out there who read and see what you do, they judge your work, your credentials based on a small amount of interaction and evaluate who you are, what you have to offer, whether you have influence or ‘klout’.

The key is to have enough confidence to know who you are, the values that you represent, the person that you are and the work that you do. (A friend’s father told him that recently and he was kind enough to share this wisdom with me.)  Keep your head held high, and believe in you.

Summer9

The people who matter the most will know you, stick around even when you’re a bit of a sh*t-head, hug you when you’re down, and become the biggest cheerleaders that you didn’t even realize or appreciate that you had.  They’ll encourage you to blog more, talk to people more, and shine that light that is you regardless of how dim you may feel it is at the moment.

Part of it is just recharging – hanging out with people who make you laugh, who sign you up for dragon boat races when you don’t even know how, those who remind you that writing is for the soul and is one of the hardest things we do sometimes – “it is ultimately spilling your guts out in text form.”

-Bexx

2 thoughts on “Northern Summer

  1. I really enjoyed reading your recent Blog post. Reflection and a good ole look in the mirror can and should happen at various stages/ages in life. I like your perspective on your own realities and in light of difficult decisions, you choose to see the light in all of it.

    I reflected a week ago (I do a lot but this time it was a hard knock of reality) Over the past 4 years I have added an extra 40lbs to my 5’4″ frame!!! Yes I recently weighed in at 165 freaking lbs!!! How did this happen?? It happened because I let it. 4 days ago I made the decision to change my lifestyle and much to my amazement I have lost 4lbs already!! I am hoping by November 3rd that I will be back to where I am comfortable with myself.

    I wrote this today because I have NEVER said my weight to anyone let alone write it down for myself to see. The biggest win for me personally here is not that I have embarked on a plan to lose weight but that I am, for the first time ever, confident enough to admit my own downfall.

    Best wishes Miss Bexx; I KNOW you will thrive in whichever direction your feet seem to go….

    1. Thanks, Penelope! 🙂 It’s hard sometimes to admit that we’ve let ourselves get to where we currently are – whether it be weight or overall as a person. I think that as long as we’re self-aware we’ll be able to get wherever we choose! You’ll get back to where you feel comfortable in no-time and appreciate it a lot more because you earned it! Kick some butt girl – proud of you!!!!

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