World’s Biggest Juice Detox: Juice.. not so… Master

drink up

This sounds weird insane to the average person, but after a full seven days of drinking juice, the mere pleasure one experiences from being able to have solid foods that require them to chew, is pretty much like offering them (read: me) a piece of chocolate cake.  The first thing that I ate post- “World’s Biggest Juice Detox” was a bowl full of watermelon and some yogurt.  Now you may laugh at that, but it was probably THE best watermelon I’ve ever had in LIFE.  Now, this watermelon was no ripper, no more organic, no more awesomer than the rest in the grocery produce section…. you may ask yourself, where the heck did she find this magical watermelon? HAH!  Not in the juice aisle let me tell you.

Let me start this off by saying, I’ve always wanted to do a detox or cleanse of some sort, and after some debate with myself and a friend, I was still no closer to coming up with reasoning that leaned toward one detox or cleanse over the other.  Then, my friend Kim suggested that we do this Juice Master cleanse.

Now I have no affiliation with Jason Vale, or the World’s Biggest Juice Detox, nor have they asked me to do this review for them.  These of course are all my own opinions.

Red rectangle showing that we made the press release and facebook page for the detox! *famous* ;)
Red rectangle showing that we (me, Andrea, Kim) made the press release and Facebook page for the detox! *famous* 😉

The World’s Biggest Juice Detox is where 20,000 people from more than 40 countries have pledged to follow Jason Vale’s Juice Master (7lbs in 7 days) juice detox to lose over 100, 000 lbs collectively.  This happened the second week of January for Kim, Andrea and I, but the detox has been extended for others to join until the end of this week.  (You can click the link for more information on the detox if you feel so inclined :))

We started on Monday January 7th, and continued through until Monday January 14th at 8 am.

Losing weight was not my main premise for trying this, and as I mentioned before Kim had brought this detox to our attention after watching the movie Hunger for Change, and I have to admit that I was intrigued.  (I have still yet to watch this movie, but it’s on my list :))  I am not a healthy juice bar or smoothie type person to begin with, so I knew this was going to be quite the challenge for me already.  I ended up losing 11lbs in the end, which was quite the feat.  I also survived a bachelorette party on the Saturday, where my self-restraint was put to the test being around so many chocolate chips cookies, alcohol and many other wonderful temptations.

How did I feel during the juice detox?  Let me take you through my thought process:

Day 1–  Pumped up and raring to go!!!  *high-fives self, and runs around yelling WOOOO HOOO I’m a juicing queen and does a juice dance*  I don’t even care that I’m waking up the neighbours with my loud juicer/blender combo juices because I’m so juicified. (this may contain a bit of sarcasm, but I really was excited to see if I could do this for a week.)  I also learned on this day how to properly put the juicer together, after some of the pulp spewed out at me only to leave a nice horizontal line of pulp emblazoned across my chest branding me as Super Juicer extraordinaire.

Day 2–  mmmmm juice.   I wonder which of the juices will be my favourite? …… ewh… not that one that tastes like dirt.

Day 3–  I have so much energy.  I’m like a bunny.  Nothing can get me down now *high-kicks*  Who needs food to chew?? NOT ME! *chews juice to trick my body into feeling like I’m eating*  This was also the third workout night of the week with my Femme Fitale boxing ladies and they were pretty excited for me and surprised that I wasn’t lying on the floor in a permanent yoga savasana.

Day 4–  Holy heck, I cannot find anything SUPER about the ‘Super Juice’ recipe, no matter how hard I try *squints at the juice*.  I’m having a hard time this day in particular.  I’m not feeling hungry, but I do not feel that burst of energy that I need to finish my 6k running clinic this evening.  I manage to finish and suffer some awesome queasy feelings, and cannot finish my post-run juice for the evening.  The smell of juice makes me feel more ill.  I go to bed hungry, and disappointed in the run.

Day 5–  FRIDAY!! We’ve made it… what’s for dinner? More, JUICE!  I stay in with a friend and make her also have some juice so that I am sharing and spreading the awesome trend of juicing.  I want to eat anything at this point, maybe even a pine cone.

Day 6–  I sleep in late, and miss a morning juice, probably on purpose subconsciously.  I head to a movie with a friend, avoid the popcorn at the theatre, and then mosey on over to my friend’s house who is planning the bachelorette party.  I help her make chocolate chip cookies, and almost forget that I’m juicing and go to lick stray cookie dough off of my finger.  Instead I examine the finger, and question why it’s so automatic that I did that, and wash it off my hands.

I go home, make more juice for dinner, and even go the restaurant to meet everyone else after they’re almost done their meals.  This part surprisingly doesn’t bother me at all.

Later on in the evening, I want to do jello shots and have fun with everyone else,  unfortunately that type of ‘juice’ is not in the recipe for my evening juice.

At the bar a guy offers to get the bartender to put kale in the tequila shot he is trying to offer me, thereby making it ‘juice’.  My friend tells another group of guys I’m on a cleanse and one guy starts telling me about this whole food cleanse he did once, and some bodily functionalities that resulted because of said cleanse, so I politely excuse myself, while wanting to yell “TOO SOON!” as I feel our brief 2 minute friendship has clearly crossed so many lines it’s not even funny.  I go home a little hungry, most definitely tempted to cheat, but proud of myself.  I had known this would be the hardest day of all, and I was right.

Day 7–  The end is nigh.  I do not want to drink anymore juice.  I do not remember the feelings  I had on Day 3, those feelings of lightness and happiness about juice.  I actually HATE juice.  My mom always told me growing up that ‘hate’ is a strong word, but in this case I really mean it.  I drink about 3.5 of the 5 juices I’m supposed to drink on this day.  I’m grumpy about juice and have little energy.  This could be because of the lack of nutrients that I am being stubborn about drinking 😉

What this has taught meSometimes things will not be ‘for you’ but they will teach you things about yourself that you did not previously know.  I’m always trying to gain more confidence when it comes to healthy eating and fitness and doing this detox has definitely helped me realize that I have a lot more will-power and dedication (when I really put my mind to it) than what I give myself credit for.

Surrounding myself with like-minded people (like my friends Kim and Andrea) definitely helped and I recommend this ‘strength in numbers’ tactic for anyone trying this detox or any detox for that matter.  We would get together at work for our 2pm juice and we even had a Juicing group chat on WhatsApp to talk things out, and to encourage each other.  Support is key and having people around you encouraging your goals amidst the ‘food terrorists’ ( who leave treats on your desk, or who try to sabotage you in any other way) is always a nice breath of fresh air.

Overall –  I would have to say that it’s obvious that the juicing lifestyle isn’t for me.  I think that it does help a lot of people and definitely does change the way that you look at food and nutrients.  It makes you a lot more conscious of what your body needs and actually requires to function at it’s best.  It helps you realize that half the time you’re eating way too much, and polluting your body with not so great foods sometimes.  Now I’m not saying for me that my eating habits will always be 100% more awesome than before, because we all slip up sometimes, but it definitely will remind me to at least think before I chew.


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